This is a yummy cake for coffee lovers ONLY, man. Just read the title.
It’s not cake you eat with your morning coffee. It’s how you get your morning coffee. And it’s delicious!
Well, you could have this cake with your coffee, I suppose. But you might want to have a defibrillator nearby. Talk about a caffeine rush, not to mention the sugar high, and if there was such thing as a butter burst or a butter boing or something, you’d be having that, too.
Translation: this is so, so yummy.
Start with 2 cups all-purpose flour and 2 cups sugar in a bowl.
Add 1/4 teaspoon salt.
Stir it together…
Until it’s well combined. Set the bowl aside and get ready to get into some serious trouble.
Melt 2 sticks of butter in a pot over medium-low heat.
While it’s melting, grab 3 tablespoons instant coffee crystals.
You know you have some. Admit it. We’re all friends here.
And add it to 1 cup boiling water.
Stir it together till it’s all dissolved. Basically, this is creating a concentrated coffee liquid.
When the butter’s all melted, pour the liquid right into the pot.
Let it come to a boil for about ten seconds, then turn off the heat. Set aside for just a minute.
Now grab 1/2 cup buttermilk…
And two eggs.
Crack them into the buttermilk and add 2 teaspoons vanilla…
And 1 teaspoon baking soda.
Mix it all together with a fork until it’s well combined.
Now, pour the butter/coffee mixture into the flour mixture.
Stir the mixture together gently. The purpose here isn’t to mix it together perfectly, but to cool down the heat before adding the egg mixture.
After you’ve gently stirred it, add in the egg mixture.
Stir it together gently until well combined. Sometimes this part takes a little patience. You don’t want to whip the tarnation out of it, so there’s a lot of folding involved.
Folding involved. Sounds like that hellhole of a laundry room I’ve got going on these days.
Sorry. But I feel trapped by my circumstances.
Keep going until it looks like coffee cake batter. Which it is.
Now, because I like to evenly distribute the batter into the two cake pans and because I don’t trust myself, I pour all the batter (scraping with a rubber spatula to get it all) into a large measuring cup.
Thoroughly grease two 9-inch (8-inch works fine, too) cake pans with shortening.
Sprinkle in some flour…
And tap the pan to get the flour to coat the surface. This cake will really stick if you’re not careful, so grease and flour it like crazy, baby.
Now, just pour exactly half of the batter into each pan.
I could eyeball this, but because the layers are on the thin side, I want them to be exactly the same size.
Bake them at 350 degrees for about 20 to 22 minutes, or until just set.
Lawsie mercy. Just hand me a fork right now.
Allow the cakes to cool in the pans for a few minutes…
Then turn one of them out onto a cake pedestal or cake plate. Just put the pedestal upside down on top of the pan…
Then flip it over and lift off the pan. Turn out the other layer onto a cooling rack and allow them both to cool completely before icing.
And speaking of icing. 1 1/2 sticks butter.
1 pound powdered sugar.
Do you say “confectioners sugar?” Because I think I’m the only remaining human on earth who says “powdered.”
It’s a lonely, lonely place.
Add 1 to 2 tablespoons instant coffee.
This is about to create some gorgeous flecks.
Add 2 tablespoons heavy cream and whip mixture together on high until light and fluffy. Add in more cream, 1 tablespoon at a time, until it reaches the consistency you want. It should be very spreadable, but not overly soft.
When it’s ready, ice the bottom half of the cake.
Use a little under half of the frosting on the bottom half. Remember that you’ll need more icing around the sides.
Place the other layer right on top. And note this: I always arrange the layers upside down. That way, I get a nice, flat, perfect top.
Plop more icing on top…
Spread it evenly over the top…
And all around the sides.
Now, refrigerate it for an hour or so. This just firms up the cake and sets the icing and makes all sorts of good things happen.
Then cut into it…
And see what you have created.
Warning:
Rich.
Strong coffee flavor.
Sweet.
Addictive.
Translation: you’ll love it! Unless you don’t like coffee. And then you still might love it.
Enjoy!
